Shortman Shorts
by Call Me Nettie
Summary: This is a place for writings that vary from one page one shots to poems and drabblesque type works. You never know what's going to show up but I hope you'll like it all just the same. Also, I would like to thank Metalheadrailfan for allowing me to use his fantastic artwork for the cover image! You can find more of his artwork on Deviantart.
1. Chapter 1

**Fever**

Arnold lays in bed sleeping off the effects of his 102 fever when there's a knock at his door. Inviting the person in, he sees that it's Helga. Surprised and a bit confused at this he says, "Oh, hey Helga, what are you doing here?"

Ever on the defense she replies, "Don't get your shorts in a bunch, Arnoldo, I'm just bringing you your homework."

Their fingers touch as she hands it to him and her demeanor immediately softens. For a moment he sees actual concern on her face.

"How are you feeling?" she asks in a caring voice.

"Not too well but I'm sure I'll survive." He smiles back. "Thanks for stopping by."

She smiles then mentally smacks herself, her usual gruffness returning. "Yeah, well, I was forced to come here so don't go getting any ideas that I did it out of the kindness of my heart. Now, I gotta get going."

She storms to the door but turns before exiting and again the soft tone comes back to her. "Get better, ok."

He starts to thank her but the door has already slammed shut so he turns his attention to the homework assignments. He stares at the meticulously written instructions and the pink ink sparks a thought to come to his mind.

He reaches into a hidden corner on the shelf in back of his bed and pulls out a small, pink journal. Opening it he compares the handwritings. "Helga!" his mind exclaims.

Homework forgotten he holds the journal to his fevered chest. As his temperature once again claims conscientiousness he drifts off with a small smile on his lips.


	2. The Feeling's Mutual

The Feeling's Mutual

Up on the roof of the boarding house Arnold stands with his best friend taking in the sun as it sets over their little city. The orange rays taint the old buildings in a surreal glow as the neighborhood starts to close down for the night. Memories of being turned down by Lila chip away at his heart.

Without really talking to anyone he says with hurt in his voice, "I don't think there's anyone out there with as much pain in their heart right now."

The boys turn quietly back to the sleeping city as further down the block a young girl closes the diary she had just been writing in. She turns off her light and with a sigh surrenders to sleep.


	3. The Dream

**A/N** Well I wonder whose dream this is. Poor, frustrated girl….

 _ **The Dream**_

 _Under a sky of stars you leered at me with eyes of emerald green,_

 _They bore a hole right to my soul, and filled my very being._

 _I watched you as you came to me, and took me by the hand,_

 _And led me to the ocean's shore where water meets the land._

 _You tenderly caress my cheek, and then brush back my hair._

 _You lean in close and whisper, "Oh, my darling, don't despair"._

 _You lead us down to bended knee and we meet eye to eye,_

 _You tell me that you love me and I pray that's not a lie._

 _Your lips so soft they beckon me, your tongue now makes them moist_

 _I part my own to say your name, but it seems I've lost my voice._

 _Your kisses start so tenderly, you trail them to my chest,_

 _Until you feel my body call, and there you let them rest._

 _You finally hover over me, we're about to do some harm,_

 _Then an incessant buzzing beckons me,_

 _And I wake to my alarm._


	4. Ode To Helga

_**An Ode To Helga**_

 _Oh precious little fourth grader, pink bow you wear it's said,_

 _Who doth dreams about yon laddie you've simply labeled "Football Head"._

 _You walk around the schoolyard, thy face contorted in a scowl,_

 _Blue eyes glaring fiercely, under a single furrowed brow._

 _You see him on the playground, playing ball with his best friend,_

 _Poisoned laden daggers those sapphire eyes do send._

" _I hate you, hate you, hate you!" your fist raises to the sky,_

" _Oh I love you, love you, love you!" your broken heart replies._

 _For years he's been the subject of your passion and your scheme,_

 _Not even taking rest, as you slumber and you dream._

 _You yearn to be the reason for him continuing with life,_

 _And await the day he looks at you and refers to you as wife._

 _For now though you just fill a book, unspoken words do roam your head,_

 _And caress his picture lovingly, as you lay upon thy bed._

 _But have faith dear tender fourth grader, hold tightly if you can,_

 _For someday his longing will turn to you, once he's become a man._


	5. Stoop Kid

**A/N** Whaaaat! I'm not writing about Helga and Arnold? I must be delirious.

Stoop Kid

 _There once was a boy they called Stoop Kid,_

 _Whose feelings he kept very well hid._

" _Off My Stoop!" He'd reply, as the people walked by,_

 _Thus all ridicule he'd quickly be rid._


	6. The Bridge

_**The Bridge**_

The pair stand on the bridge watching the boats as they sail through the harbor at evening's tide, the moon reflects off the water's surface.

"Helga," he asks in a quiet voice, "What's love?"

She contemplates the question then says. "Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, 'Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness'."

He looks at her, his heart skipping a beat. "You think I'll ever find that?"

"Ohhh," she smiles, "I'd bet it's closer than you think Football Head."

They both turn their attention back to the moonlit water and pass the rest of the time in silence.


	7. The Rock

**The Rock**

They quietly walk along the trail. She stops and picks up a rough, potholed rock.

"I don't believe it, this is so cool!"

Looking at the rock in her hands he says, "What's so special about that, it's just a gnarly old rock."

"No it's not Hair Boy, look."

She hits the rock onto a bigger one and breaks it in half revealing an interior filled with blue and green crystals. As she shows the two halves to him the crystals pick up the light from the sun reflecting it back at them.

"See, it's a geode."

"Wow, Helga, that's incredible. To look at it from the outside you'd never know what a beautiful treasure it holds inside. How did you know to crack it open?"

"I guess I just know what to look for."

"I'd have never thought to take the time to find out what's inside."

She sighs internally, handing him half of the rock, and says, "I know Football Head, I know."

The End


	8. Penguins and Pebbles

**Penguins and Pebbles**

Helga sits on a park bench under a shade tree watching the people as they walk by. After a bit Arnold comes walking up the path. He has a smooth flat pebble that he flips in the air like a quarter then catches it. He notices Helga and walks over to sit next to her.

"Hey Helga." He says in greeting.

"Hey, Football Head."

He continues to flip the rock absentmindedly.

"What's that you got there?" Helga asks.

"Oh, just a pebble I found down by the fountain."

Helga continues looking off into the distance. "Did you know that the male Gentoo penguin is known to present the object of his affection with a small flat stone in hopes of making her his mate?"

"Really, I didn't know that."

The two sit quietly for another few minutes when Arnold speaks softly.

"Um, Helga?"

"Yes, Football Head?"

Without saying anything Arnold holds out his pebble to her.

Helga looks from the pebble to Arnold, and silently she accepts it.

They continue staring off lost in their thoughts, both with a small smile on their lips.


	9. Vega

**A/N** The story of Vega has many renditions but they are all basically the same. This is just my condensed version. Enjoy….

 **Vega**

They lay on their backs on the roof of the boarding house gazing up at the night as he notices a bright star.

"Helga," he says as he breaks their silence, "look at how bright that one star is. It's so bright it stands out from all the rest."

Helga follows his gaze and says, "That's the star Vega. Its story is quite tragic and sad."

"Oh, yeah? Tell me about it."

Getting the story straight in her mind she begins the tale.

"This is the story of the Herdsman and the Weaver. Once there was a hard working herdsman by the name of Aquila who lived on one side of the Milky Way. On the other was a weaver girl named Vega. Vega was the brightest and most beautiful star in all of the heavens and the daughter of the Sun King. Vega was always so busied with her weaving that it worried her father and he felt that if she married she would have a chance at a more pleasant life. So he made arrangements for her to marry the herdsman from across the Milky Way. Soon after the two married they fell madly in love. They spent their time in frivolity, though, shirking their duties. This angered the King and he blamed Aquila for turning his daughter from her responsibilities so he made the decree that Aquila should be removed back to the other side of the Milky Way and that the two would only be able to be together once a year, on the seventh night of the seventh month. The King made it so that on such night a flock of magpies would come together to form a bridge across the Milky Way for Vega to walk on so she could be with her lover. So year after year each would wait on their side of the Milky Way for that one special evening where Vega would walk across the bridge to fall into her lover's arms, reunited if only for that one short night."

"Wow," Arnold said, "imagine loving someone so much but never being able to be together."

"Yeah," Helga sighed, "imagine that."

After a few moments Arnold takes Helga's hand and exclaims, "Hey, tonight is the seventh night of the seventh month! I bet they're together right now. She must be the happiest person in all the universe."

Helga holds Arnold's hand a little tighter and whispers under her breath, "Second happiest."

Turning to her Arnold asks, "What did you say?"

"Nothing Football Head, just shut up and watch the stars."

The End


	10. Kurinji

**A/N** Here you go Yali, this one's for you. Enjoy!

 **Kurinji**

The class follows their teacher through the lush paths of the Hillwood Botanical Gardens when they come across a plain, unassuming plant. The class circles the plant as Mr. Simmons begins his lecture.

Harold points to the plain plant and yells, "Ohh, look at that ugly old plant, it's so stupid it doesn't even have any flowers on it. Who'd want a dumb old plant like that around!"

Mr. Simmons breaks in to Harold's outburst.

"Now boys and girls, this is a very interesting and wonderful plant. This is the rare Kurinji bush from the South of India. To look at it now it may not seem like much but this plant holds a secret. For you see it only blooms once every twelve years but when it does it covers itself in a bountiful display of beautiful violet and blue flowers. The sight it makes is so spectacular that the local peoples have named the mountains it grows on as the Nilgiri Mountain Range, or The Blue Mountains. Many people come to these gardens and pass it by never knowing the secret it holds."

Arnold casts his gaze across the group to where Helga is talking quietly to her friend Phoebe. Her head turns and she catches Arnold's intent stare which brings a bright red blush to her cheeks. Arnold's lips turn up into a soft smile. Her eyes grow wide in confused surprise and she quickly turns her attention back to their teacher.

"And so you see, class, with just a little time and patience those who know this secret will find themselves with a very special treasure indeed."

Arnold lets out a small sigh and whispers, "I totally agree."

Mr. Simmons looks at Arnold quizzically. "What's that you said, Arnold?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just agreeing with you."

The End


	11. Bow and Hat

**Bow and Hat**

 _Pink bow and blue hat so alike and the same, yet so totally different but neither's to blame._

 _Each a symbol of love shown in two separate ways, that they wear to help get them through all of their days._

 _Pink bow guards its true feelings of love and devotion, while blue hat tells all with such sincere emotion._

 _Pink bow keeps its love hidden for no one to see, blue hat tells of the love of a family of three._

 _Pink bow is admired by that one special boy, while blue hat's given by parents and accepted with joy._

 _Both a symbol of longing for that which they need, for a lover, a family, come to me they plead._

 _And so it's with hope they persistently go, each wearing their symbolic blue hat and pink bow._


	12. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

He walks through the park not really headed in any particular direction. He spies a lone daisy sticking up out of the grass. He picks it up, running a finger over the soft petals. After a bit he grabs one and plucks it out while thinking to himself, _"She loves me."_ He drops it as he walks, leaving it behind.

Looking at the remaining petals he chooses a second one to pluck and with a bit of a frown thinks, _"She loves me not."_ This too he drops as he walks.

The dropped petals follow him as he walks up to a bench and sits down. His friends stand around a snack cart a little ways in front of him. Half the petals are gone as he continues. _"She loves me."_ He says softly as he thinks of the time she returned to him his lost blue hat when he was worried it was gone for good.

" _She loves me not."_ He frowns as he thinks of the spit wads that are always aimed at the back of his head.

" _She loves me."_ He sighs and his heart skips a beat at the memory of how he felt so scared of losing her when she started getting swept away after she fell into the flood waters while trying to help save Mr. Simmons.

And so it goes on, each dropped petal adding to the pile that is forming at his feet.

He looks up from the growing pile and suddenly sees her standing over him as he holds a stem, barren of all its petals but one. He quickly places it down next to him so she doesn't see it.

"How's it going Football Head?" She asks as she sits down next to him.

"Fine." He says as he stares into her brilliant blue eyes.

"Here." She says with a blush to her cheeks as she hands him a small container of his favorite tapioca pudding. "It was the last one on the snack cart and I knew you'd want it so I grabbed it before Harold could run off with it."

She gives him a rare, soft smile before getting up and hurrying away to join the others.

After she's walked away he picks up what is left of the daisy and as he plucks out the last petal he smiles as he watches the girl and hopes to himself, _"She loves me."_

The End


	13. Open Your Eyes

**A/N** Lots of people like to write Lila as the villain, but really, what has she ever done other than tell Arnold she didn't like, like him? I like to think of her more like in this story….

Open Your Eyes

Arnold sits alone in the lunchroom, pushing the Daily Special he just bought around on his plate, not really eating. A shadow slides over him and he looks up seeing Lila smiling down at him.

"Hi, Arnold." She says sweetly.

"Oh, hi Lila." He replies without much enthusiasm as he continues to play with his food.

There was a time, back in the fourth grade, when even just a small "hello" from Lila would have made his whole day. But like every other school boy crush he'd gone through, the feelings just weren't real enough to survive more than a few months, so, while even though neither of them like, liked each other, they still remained good friends.

Lila stands now, clearing her throat, waiting for Arnold to ask her to join him.

Shaking his head to clear it he looks back up at her.

"Oh, uh, would you like to sit down?" He asks as he gestures to an empty chair.

"Why, yes, Arnold, I would like that ever so much."

She takes a seat and looks at his saddened face. "What's wrong, Arnold, you're looking oh so sad today."

He heaves a sigh as he looks up from his lunch. "I don't know, Lila, I guess I'm just feeling lonely today."

He leans back in his chair and looks at his hands that now sit in his lap. "Lila," he starts softly, "do you believe that there's someone out there for every person? That no one person is ever truly destined to spend their whole life alone?"

Lila thinks about it for a minute then answers in her usual upbeat manner, "Oh yes, Arnold, I'm ever so sure there is someone out there for everyone. That is, if they're willing to open their eyes to them."

"Do you think I'll ever meet my special someone?" He asks.

Lila gives Arnold a knowing smile as she reaches over and places her hand on his shoulder. "To be quite honest with you, Arnold, I believe you already have."

She turns to look at the table across from them. He looks at her eyes then follows her gaze. There, sitting alone at the next lunch table sits Helga. She's absentmindedly munching a carrot as she writes something in one of the many journals she's seen walking around with. On her face is a look of contentment.

Watching her, his mind wanders back a few years to when they were in the fourth grade play. She played Juliet to his Romeo. He thinks of the kiss and how it made his heart flutter and his stomach fill with butterflies. He played it off at the time as stage fright over being kissed by a girl in front of an auditorium full of people.

Being older now he recognizes that feeling as more than just mere jitters. It's as if a switch has finally been flipped on in his head and he is seeing her for the very first time.

He turns back to face Lila, eager to ask her if Helga is the one she's talking about but she's not there. Looking towards the exit he sees her as she disappears through the doors. What he doesn't see is the smile she wears on her face.

He turns his gaze back to Helga, suddenly feeling very nervous. Taking a deep breath, he stands up and walks over to her table. She doesn't notice him at first so he clears his throat to get her attention.

She jumps a bit at the unexpected sound and upon seeing that it's coming from Arnold she quickly closes the journal she's been writing in.

"Hey, what's the big idea sneaking up on me like that, Hair Boy, you startled me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He says as a hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. "I was just wondering if maybe I could join you. You know, since we're both alone and all."

With a surprised look on her face and her heart beating a mile a minute she nods to the chair next to her and says quietly, "Um, sure, why not, since we're both alone and all."

Their eyes lock for a brief second as he sits down. Looking at her a feeling of completeness washes over him and he marvels at what wonders one can find if they'd only just open their eyes.

The End


	14. Wistful

Wistful

He sits on a bench with his best friend, they are both hot and sweaty from a game of one on one. He looks across the park and sees a group of girls playing hopscotch. His eyes settle on a particular girl dressed all in pink.

He watches her for a while before turning to his friend.

"Gerald?"

"Yeah, Bro?" Gerald asks as he spins his basketball on the tip of his finger.

"What do you think the difference is between like and love?"

His friend processes this for a moment, his eyes trailing after a petite girl in blue as she skips down the hopscotch grid.

"This question was asked to the great Buddha once. His answer was this:

' _When you like a flower, you just pluck it._

 _But when you love a flower, you water it daily…!_

 _One who understands this, understands life…'"_

The two boys sit in silence, processing these words. Finally Gerald turns to his friend.

"That make sense to you, Arnold?"

The boy continues staring at the girl in Pink, a wistful smile on his face.

"Makes perfect sense to me, Gerald."

The End


	15. Treasure

Treasure

They sit at the end of the dock, dangling their feet over the water. The noon day sun sparkles off the water's surface. They talk about their adventures in San Lorenzo and their encounter with the Green Eyed People and how he had tried, unsuccessfully to get El Corazon.

"It's a shame you didn't get that treasure you were after."

He looks at her and takes her hand in his.

"Who's to say I didn't?"

They look at each other, she smiles through a blush and turns back towards the water.

"You're such a Football Head."

"Whatever you say, Helga."


	16. Going Home

**A/N** A quick one shot just for fun…..

Going Home

He sits in his seat between his parents as they, along with the rest of their group, take that long flight back to Washington State. He only half follows Miles and Stella's conversation as they talk across him. In order to make it seem like he's paying attention he gives the appropriate "Yeah", or "I know, right" at just the right lulls.

In his mind, he keeps playing back the last five days of their trip to San Lorenzo. The loneliness he felt as he sat in the small cell La Sombra had him locked up in. The fear of being lost forever in the jungle as he and his two friends did their best to follow his father's map. His realization of the love he held for Helga as they clung to the rotted rope bridge for dear life. Ending finally with that moment of bliss as his lips touched Helga's in their first, mutual, kiss.

Right after that kiss they were swept up in the commotion of a village suddenly awakened after so many long years of sleep. Families being reunited after a long separation, elders reclaiming their rightful spots as leaders. He and his parents held in high praise for saving the indigenous people's little village. He didn't feel quite right being the one to receive so much of the acclaim for saving the little village, after all, it _WAS_ Helga's doing that brought them all together and got them there, and it _WAS_ Helga who knocked out the guard to help with their escape and most of all it _WAS_ Helga's locket that woke up the sleeping villagers after he was unsuccessful in bringing back the Corazon. He tried to explain this to everyone but his words went basically ignored.

Growing tired of his parent's chatter he gets up and excuses himself. He is suddenly filled with a desire, no, more a need, to search out Helga and be with her. Scanning the plane's small interior he spies her sitting alone in the last row of seats. She has her earbuds on and slowly moves her head to the beat of whatever it is she is listening to as she peacefully stares out the window. Curious as to where his son is going Miles looks over the back of his seat and watches Arnold make his way towards Helga. With a knowing smile he sits back down, letting his wife know where their son is headed.

Arnold passes Gerald and Phoebe as they sit, heads together, watching a video on a small iPad. Gerald cranes his neck around his seat, also curious as to where Arnold could be going and shakes his head as he smiles, still trying to come to grips with Arnold and Helga being together.

He basically goes unnoticed by the rest of the passengers, Helga included. Finally reaching her he sits down in the empty seat that is next to her. The sudden presence of a body sitting next to her startles her and she gives a little jump. She looks at him with wide eyes as she pulls the earbuds out of her ears.

"Criminy, Football Head, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She says both annoyed and happy at the same time.

Slightly embarrassed for startling her he says, "I'm sorry, Helga, I didn't mean to frighten you. I guess I should have made my presence known before just plopping down next to you."

"Whatever." She says dismissively.

Sitting next to her now he is suddenly at a loss for something to say. She eyes him curiously, wondering what he wants.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed company?" She inquires.

"N-nothing r-really." He stutters. He's nervous over the conversation he is about to have with her.

"Nothing? There must be some reason you'd tear yourself away from your parents to come sit back here with me. Spill it, what's up?"

"I, I guess I was just wondering how you're doing. We haven't really had a chance to talk since we, um, you know." His deep red blush gives away just what he is referring to.

The topic of their kiss unravels her a bit and it's her turn to stumble over her words.

"Uh, um, yeah. Things got pretty crazy there at the end. I barely saw you once the village elders got a hold of you."

He gives a nervous chuckle, "Heh, yeah. They were pretty intense." He pauses for a moment before continuing. "I want you to know, I wanted to spend more time with you. I looked for opportunities to break away but every time I'd try to go looking for you someone would find me and….."

"Don't worry, Arnoldo." She interrupts, "I saw how you were constantly surrounded by adoring, green-eyed fans." She didn't mean to sound a bit offended, but she couldn't help it.

"I wasn't avoiding you, Helga, honest."

She turns away from him and looks out the window once again.

"Tell me something, Arnold. Since we're on the subject, when you kissed me, what was that about?"

"I don't understand. What do you mean 'what was that about'?"

"Why did you kiss me? Was it just a thank you for helping you out?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

He takes her hand and she turns, casting her gaze from their linked hands to his eyes.

"I don't know." She starts, "You've just never shown any interest in me like that before so I wasn't quite sure how to take it. Then, when it was never brought up again I just figured…" She shrugs her shoulders, not finishing the sentence.

"This is exactly why I came over here to sit with you. I want to get certain things cleared up before we get back to Hillwood."

"Things like?"

"Well, first off, why I kissed you."

"Which was…..?"

"Which was because I've finally realized, that I'm in love with you and it's because of that and that only as to why I kissed you. I know I've probably put you through hell with taking so long to realize my own feelings for you and I'm sorry."

Hard as she tries, she can't stop the smile that forms on her lips. She tries to sound nonchalant as she speaks. "Yeah, well, I'll just chalk that one up to you being a dumb Football Head."

He gives a small chuckle as he continues. "There's one other thing I'd like to get settled before we land."

He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing. "I – I would like to know if you'd agree to being my, my girlfriend."

Her eyes grow wide and there's a noticeable catch to her breath. She turns away from him again, a hand coming up to her chest. Her fingers play with the locket she still wears under her shirt. She thinks about the words she's waited most of her life to hear. In her dreams when he asks her she always throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she yells a loud _"YES! YES! YES!"_ But now that the moment is actually here she finds herself unable to speak.

He watches her, trying to read her expression. He's worried he's blown it by not confronting her sooner and he wishes she would just say something, anything. Anything would be better than the silence he is forced to endure.

After another long moment she finally speaks up.

"You and I are different, you know. You spend your days walking around, wearing your heart on your sleeve for all the world to see. You're open and honest with your feelings. I, on the other hand, am the exact polar opposite. For whatever reason I feel I have to hide my feelings, and it's very rare that I let anybody in. You are going to want a girlfriend like you, someone who doesn't care what others think as the two of you walk hand in hand down the street."

"Helga, what are you trying to say? You're not saying no are you?"

"If you'll stop interrupting me I'll tell you what I'm trying to say! Criminy!"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, please, continue."

"Alright. What I'm trying to say is, that I know you and you are going to want the world to see how much in love you are and how wonderful life is and all that mushy stuff. I don't know if I'll be able to do that, but I'm willing to try to step out of my comfort zone if you are willing to not push me and to give me time."

"So what you're saying is?"

Rolling her eyes, and giving him a smile she says, "What I'm saying is, yes. I will be your girlfriend."

"Helga!" He says, loud enough to draw attention to the two of them, "That's great!"

He pulls her to him, giving her a tight hug. She can feel her classmate's eyes as they stare at them in disbelief.

"Criminy. What did I just get myself in to?" She thinks to herself as she gives a small chuckle and hugs him back.

The End


	17. What's In a Kiss?

**A/N** My idea of what Helga's first journal entry would be once back from San Lorenzo…..

What's In a Kiss?

You kissed me oh so tenderly,

That night under the stars.

In a blissful, earnest moment,

When all happiness was ours.

The moon, it shone so brightly,

All jungle sounds stopped in a hush.

With my hidden longing and desire,

Exposed unfaithfully by my blush.

But what was in this kiss you gave,

That made me sway and swoon?

The answer that you give me

Could bring jubilation or deep ruin.

If the kiss was just a thank you,

For my efforts in your cause,

Then my heart would shrink in sadness,

Of my greatest, tragic loss.

But if it was done through love, my dear,

The greatest gift of all.

Then my soul would surely run to you,

And at your feet I'd fall.

So tell me, oh dear warden,

As you hold my heart imprisoned.

Is it love that brought your lips to mine?

Wait! Don't tell me if it isn't.


	18. Lemon Puddin

**A/N** If Stinky were to write a 5-7-5 Haiku, I believe this would be it…

Lemon Puddin

Sweet yellow goodness

Sits tangy upon the tongue

Brings joy to my soul


	19. Cake

CAKE

There she stood, across from him, the sinfully decadent piece of moist chocolate cake poised at the ready on the tips of her fingers. The vanilla buttercream frosting that sits on top of it still holds one delicate pink rosette, made from the same buttercream. He looks at that rosette as it sits threateningly on her fingers. He knows exactly the spot on his face for which it is meant and wonders if he has time to duck out of its way. They say time moves seemingly slowly when tragedy is about to strike, but that is just a ruse to cover the fact that in a mere split second his face is going to be pelted with the rich dessert.

" _Oh what have I done to deserve such a fate?"_ He thinks to himself. _"Haven't I always been the gentle, caring type? Am I not always there at the drop of a hat whenever any of my friends are in trouble?"_

He looks at the crowd that surrounds them, their smiling faces mock him as they cheer her on. His eyes jump from face to face as he yells out, "Traitors! All of you!"

His attention is turned back to her as she yells through what seems like a maniac laughter. "Aw, can it Shortman and take your dues like a man!"

Looking at her through steely eyes, he straightens his back. "Okay, do what you will but just remember, what goes around, comes around."

"Heh, I'm shaking in my boots here." She laughs as she shoves the piece of cake into his face, pressing in with her hand, smearing it from cheek to cheek.

As the cake hits his face a rush of memories come flooding back to him. Memories of spit wads aimed at his head with deft precision, and pudding cups carelessly thrown at his chest. These memories fueling his desire to exact his revenge, but those moments are tempered with memories of warm smiles, of gentle hands placed on his shoulders in moral support whenever he feels down. Of kisses on rooftops and shared comradery at the discovery that neither of their families are perfect but they are still just that, family.

He looks at her through cake smeared eyes and smiles a smile that is at first tender and loving, but then turns calculating with a touch of, is that evil she sees on his lips? She looks at him now, wondering if she didn't go just a tad overboard with the cake. She sees his hand reach for a piece of his own and tries to back pedal her way out of his retaliation.

With her hands held protectively in front of her she does her best to reason with him.

"Oh, hey now, Shortman, I was just kidding around there, ya know? No need to get all aggressive, right?"

He doesn't say anything as he stands there staring at her. His green eyes boring into her blue. She looks to the crowd for support but the tables have turned now and she finds that she is on her own.

She watches as his hand comes up, hovering in front of her, the rich cake seeming to grow a mouth that laughs at her as it grows nearer. She turns her face to the side as a camera flash goes off, the bright light blinding her, bringing up memories of a certain April Fool's day from their long ago past.

" _Criminy, just what I need, photographic evidence of me getting blasted in the face with cake."_ She looks over to her assailant and snickers. _"Heh, well at least I'm not the only one wearing my dessert."_

As soon as the cake hits her face the room explodes with cheering and laughter. They look at each other, their smiles hidden under the sweet confection. She reaches out, swiping a finger across his cheek before bringing it to her mouth. He grabs her with his clean hand, pulling her close and they kiss. As their lips meet the crowd responds once more, only this time with applause.

They turn together to look at their friends, their joy radiating outwards, filling the room with their shared love. A few more pictures of them are taken as they stand behind the modestly decorated three tiered cake before he turns to her. Taking a napkin he begins to gently wipe away the smeared cake, taking a moment to lick a small spot of pink frosting. A blush forms on her cheeks at his small, loving gesture and he thinks that he's never seen her as lovely as she is right now.

Hooking a finger under her chin he tilts her face upwards until their eyes meet, and it is as if they are the only two present, even though they stand in a room full of friends and family, as he softly whispers, "I love you, Mrs. Shortman."

With her breath completely taken away, she gives a momentary swoon before replying, "I love you, too, Mr. Shortman."

The End


	20. Busted

Busted

She's alone in the house which is just the way she likes it. With her favorite sandwich in hand, and a cold bottle of Yahoo Soda to wash it down with, she's ready for a full Saturday afternoon of Wrestlemania. Just as she's about to take her first bite of sandwich, she hears a loud knocking at her front door. Annoyed, she yells out at the top of her lungs.

"No one's home, go away!"

The person is persistent, though, and knocks again. "Come on, Pataki, let me in. We need to talk."

Looking longingly at her uneaten sandwich, she puts it down and storms over to the door, flinging it open.

"Listen, Geraldo, like I said on the phone, there is nothing to talk about."

Pushing past her, he lets himself in, and following the noise of the TV, he enters the family room. Making it harder for her to push him back out the door.

Having followed closely behind him, she folds her arms across her chest and gives him a glare.

"You can save your breath Buck-o because you're not going to change my mind. I'm not telling him."

Gerald gives her glare right back to her.

"Like I said, if you don't do it, I will. I'm only here to give you one last chance to go to him and own up to what you did."

His threat makes her nervous and she begins to pace the floor, throwing her hands up as she speaks.

"I don't even know how you found out. Nobody was supposed to know. I can't have something like this getting out, it'll ruin me."

"A little dramatic there don't you think, Pataki?"

She walks up to where he sits and hovers over him.

"No, Ger-al-do, I'm not. That's all I'm going to need is for this to get out. I'll be the laughing stock of the sixth grade. Who told you, anyway? Was it Phoebe?"

"No, it wasn't Phoebe. You know she'd never betray your confidence."

"Well then who was it? Hmmmm?"

"How I found out is not important. What IS important is that I did, and one of us is going to tell him. Face it, Pataki, you're busted and you know it."

Crossing her arms over her chest once more, she answers him through a pout.

"I don't even see why I should listen to you. This is none of your business anyway."

"None of my business? This most definitely is my business. Come on, Helga, he's my best friend. Anything that concerns him is my business."

"What good will telling him be? He doesn't have to know everything that goes on in this town."

"He does when it concerns him. You don't know how this has affected him over the years. It's the one thing he can't let go of. Honestly, it's slowly driving him crazy, he needs to know what happened that night."

"Look, I did what I did with the intent of him never finding out. If you tell him now that after all this time I've been keeping this secret from him he'll hate me."

Gerald's eyes soften as he realizes what the girl is afraid of. Getting up, he places a hand on her shoulder, amazed that she didn't brush it away.

"Listen, Helga, he could never hate you, believe me. He loves you, and you coming clean about what you did will only strengthen that."

"But, I didn't do it as a way to make him like me. What if he thinks I only did it for my own selfish gains?"

"Girl, you've kept this secret for two years, and if it wasn't because of sheer dumb luck I never would have found out. That alone shows him that you never had any ulterior motives."

A small smile finally forms at the corner of her lips as a rosy hue colors her cheeks, signaling to Gerald that he's finally gotten through to her.

"So, are you going to tell him, or should I?

A moment of panic comes over her as she turns to her friend with wide eyes.

"No, no. I – I can't. You do it."

"Okay, I will."

Grabbing his cell phone from his pocket, he pulls up his best friend's number. Pushing the call button, he smiles when the call is picked up on the second ring.

"Hello, Arnold? Yeah, I'm good, buddy. Hey guess what, I finally found out where those Nancy Spumoni boots came from…."


	21. Good-bye

Good-bye

She stands across the room and watches Arnold as he sits, his hands covering his face as he sobs into them. A part of her feels sorry for the man and she wishes things could have turned out differently, but she also knows that he is strong and, in time, will be all the stronger because of it.

Turning her head slightly, she gives a little jump at the figure that wasn't there a moment ago.

"Criminy, do you always sneak up on people like that?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to startle you."

She raises an eyebrow as she gives him a closer look. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Oh, please excuse my rudeness. The name's Gabriel, it's so very nice to finally meet you."

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you, too, Gabe."

She turns her attention back to her husband, giving a little sigh. "I'm going to miss him you know."

"I can imagine so, after all, you've known him practically your whole life."

"Do you really think he'll be okay?"

"Yes, I know he will. He has lots of people who love him and are there for him."

As if on que the door to the room opens, revealing two of their closest friends. She can't remember ever seeing them so serious as they walk up to Arnold.

"Hey, you okay, man?" His best friend asks.

Arnold looks up at him with red eyes. "I don't know, Gerald. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I – I just love her so much."

She brings her hands up, clasping them in front of her chest as she gives out a quiet swoon. "Oh, Arnold."

He looks up, staring off into space. "Did you hear that?" He says to his friends.

Gerald follows his gaze while giving his friend a confused look. "No, man. I didn't hear anything. Are you sure you're okay?"

He slumps back into his chair, hanging his head once again. "Yeah, I'm – I'm okay.

Phoebe swallows the lump that's been sitting in her throat, her voice is small as she speaks.

"It's going to be okay, Arnold. You will get through this, and we will be by your side. You won't be going through this alone."

"I know, and I'm grateful. It's just…"

The sadness in his voice is too much for her and she finally takes a step forward but is stopped when she feels a hand grip her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gabriel says as he pulls her back to his side.

"Look at him, I can't just leave him like this. I need to go to him. I need to tell him it's going to be okay."

"No, you don't. That's their job. You have things of your own that you need to be doing, and the sooner the better."

"But I….."

"No, we've lingered long enough, it's time to let go."

She stands looking at her husband one last time. A single tear falling down her cheek. She does her best to send out a message to him, hoping that he can somehow hear her.

"Good-bye my love. I will be waiting for you. Please know that you were my life and that I will never stop loving you."

As she turns back to Gabriel she sees the bright portal waiting for her. With a deep, stabilizing breath and a square of her shoulders she gives him a nod of her head.

"Okay, I'm ready."

With Gabriel to lead her, they head towards the portal. The very second she passes through it the only sounds that can be heard are the stinging buzz of the heart monitor, accompanied by Arnold's heavy sobs.

* * *

 **A/N** Sorry for this, but we just lost a very near and dear friend of our family a few hours ago, and I guess this is just my way of coping. RIP dear friend, I will miss you dearly. I love you.

To my faithful readers, I promise that the next thing I post here will be way happier.


	22. Puddin

Puddin

She stands in line with her cafeteria tray, sliding it along the metal shelf as she slowly meanders down the line. It contains the usual hamburger, a plate of fries and the kind of chocolate milk that comes in those little cardboard containers. She spies the desserts that await her up ahead and notices one lone tapioca pudding sitting on a bed of ice. She also notices a certain football headed annoyance out of the peripheral of her vision. He is a few kids behind her and eyeing the very same pudding as she. Upon reaching the holy grail of desserts, she grabs it, placing it victoriously on her tray. The look of disappointment from behind her does not go unnoticed.

She spots an empty table in the middle of the cafeteria and quickly claims her stake on it. She positions herself so her back is facing the table of boys that's just a few feet away. She waits until she hears the familiar voice of the annoying one before getting up and grabbing the coveted pudding off of her tray. Stealthily, she walks up behind her target while noticing the look she is getting from his tall haired friend. She reaches around the left side of her unsuspecting prey, grabbing a cup of green Jell-o off of his tray.

His friend begins to open his mouth in protest but is stopped when she raises an eyebrow at him. Without breaking eye contact, she now reaches around to the right of her target, depositing the cup of tapioca that she has brought with her.

The blonde boy turns to look at her with shocked eyes but she turns and walks away without saying a word, and returns to her table. She eats in silence and when she comes to her dessert she takes a satisfying spoonful. She wonders if green Jell-o has always tasted this sweet, or if it is just the circumstances with which she's obtained it that makes it seem so.

When she's finished she takes her tray, depositing the discards into the trashcan, and leaves the noisy din of the lunchroom. He watches her as she leaves and, after bidding his lunch mates' farewell, follows after her.

He sees her standing in front of her locker, thanking his good fortune for her being alone. He quietly walks up behind her and places a hand gently on her shoulder.

She turns with mild shock to find him standing there, his half-lidded stare and childlike smirk causing a momentary flutter of her heart.

Catching her off guard, he gently presses his lips to hers in a soft kiss. When the kiss is broken he smiles sweetly at her. "Thanks for the dessert." He says.

The smell of tapioca hangs in the air between the two, the scent causing her head to give a drunken spin. She comes to her senses and looks him in the eye. "You smell like puddin." She says through a smirk. "I think that shall be your new nickname."

"Puddin?" He questions, not sure if he likes the new moniker or not.

"Would you prefer Puddin Head?" She asks?

He gives his head a vigorous shake. "NO, no, not at all."

Satisfied, she gives her head a curt nod. "Okay then, Puddin it is. No longer shall I call you Football Head."

She surprises him when she leans in, returning the kiss from earlier, before turning and walking away. Without looking back, she calls over her shoulder. "See ya around, Puddin."

He leans against her locker, watching her slender form as it grows smaller and smaller with each departing step. Unable to hide the smile that spreads across his face, he lets out with a quiet chuckle before heading back to the cafeteria.

* * *

THE END

 **A/N** Don't worry, the name Puddin is just in fun for this quick one-shot. Arnold is, and shall always be, Helga's beloved Football Head.


	23. Crazy Train

**A/N** I sat down a little while ago and wrote this brief one shot for a friend of mine that is having a bad night. The Phillip that is mentioned here is the same Phillip from my mega story A Slice Of Life. He is the ten month old son of Arnold and Helga. If you haven't read that story yet, I'd like to encourage you to do so. You might like it. Of course I own no rights to anything Hey Arnold, Thomas the Tank Engine, nor Ozzy Osborne's Crazy Train. Anyway, here ya go **Metal** , it's not much, but I hope you still like it. And, no, Phillip is not high on drugs, he just has his father's vivid imagination, lol…

* * *

Crazy Train

Phillip lays quietly in his mother's arms as she rocks him to sleep. He can no longer keep his heavy eyelids open, and their weight forces them shut. He slumbers peacefully while his mother carries him over to his crib where she lays him gently down. She picks up his favorite stuffed Thomas the Tank Engine toy from the foot of the crib, placing it upright next to his head. Walking over to his dresser, she turns off the small lamp that sits on top of it, blanketing the room in darkness.

She leaves a small crack in the door as she departs, causing a thin line of light to stream into the room. The muted stream hits Thomas, illuminating his smiling face, causing the toy to blink his eyes a few times. Sensing that he is not alone, Phillip opens his own eyes, and lays staring into the happy face of Thomas. The familiar sight comforts the boy and he gives a little smile. He's about to close his eyes when he swears that he's just seen Thomas wink at him.

He is hesitant as he reaches out, poking one of Thomas's eyes with his tiny index finger. He is startled when he hears the toy cry out in discomfort. "Hey, careful there fella!"

Phillip opens his eyes wide now, the shock of what he just heard slowly registering in his brain. He lets out with an enraptured "Daaaat?" As he stares at his toy.

Thomas gives a little chuckle as he looks at his friend, and speaks to him in a kind voice. "Sorry there, Phillip, I didn't mean to startle you."

With his language not yet developed, all Phillip can do to answer him is warble out some garbled gibberish which Thomas, to Phillip's amazed surprise, understands. Thomas laughs as he answers him. "No, you're not hearing things, Phillip. I really am talking to you."

Phillip sits up now, his eyes glued to his stuffed friend. Unable to do more than roll his eyes upwards, Thomas looks up at the child as he speaks. "Say, Phillip, would you like to go for a ride with me? It's been a while since I've taken a trip, and I would love some company."

Phillip gives his head a quick nod as he smiles down at Thomas.

"Okay then." His friend says, "Just touch my back and off we'll go."

Following his friend's direction, Phillip reaches out, placing a tiny hand on the toy train. The minute his hand touches the train, the room begins to spin and before he knows it, Phillip is sitting inside of Thomas's cab. He can hear his friend's voice as he sits in the engineer's seat. He looks around in wonder as he takes in the inside of Thomas's cab. Looking forward, he sees the empty track that spreads out before him in a long, unending line.

Thomas gives Phillip a moment to come to grips with where he is, and once he feels that the boy is ready, he speaks up. "Shall we be on our way, Phillip?"

The boy gives a nod, not sure if Thomas can see him or not.

Sensing Phillip's movements, Thomas smiles as he looks straight ahead and he gives a toot of his whistle. "Excellent." Thomas says as the sound of grinding metal on metal hits Phillip's ears. With a lurch the train moves forward, the smell of Thomas's steamy exhaust fills Phillip's nose.

The boy watches as the scenery whizzes past him in a blur of color. Thomas slows down some when he hits the bottom of a steep hill. Phillip hears what sounds like a steamy _"I think I can, I think I can."_ As they gain altitude. He notices that it is getting lighter out the closer they get to the top of the hill. With one last push, Thomas lets go with a burst of steam as he makes it to the top of the hill.

They teeter there for a moment before Phillip feels himself leaning forward, and he holds onto his seat as Thomas carries him down the hill. The wind that comes in from the cabin's window hits Phillip in the face, blowing his golden hair behind him. The boy smiles widely at the rush he feels as Thomas picks up the speed and they go racing down the hill.

When they reach the bottom Thomas slows the pace down once again, allowing Phillip the opportunity to watch the passing scenery. Phillip watches, noticing how everything is so bright and vivid here. There are cows that graze in a field of emerald green grass as a flock of birds glide by in a sky that is a brilliant blue. The lemon yellow sun hangs high in the sky, a shimmering ball of light.

As they move along the scene changes to that of a windblown beach. The track running along the wet sand as the waves gently lap at Thomas's wheels. Out past where the swells break, a pod of dolphins jump in unison out of the water, only to splash back down as one. Phillip takes a deep breath in, the mix of salty air and dry sand reminds him of the beach he played at with his mother and father not so long ago.

The thought of his parents starts to make Phillip homesick and he sends out a message to his friend that he'd like to go home. Hearing the request, Thomas is quick to oblige. "What's that Phillip, you're ready to go home?"

Phillip gives a nod of his head.

"Whatever you say, Phillip." Thomas says as he picks up the pace, following the curve of the track as it U-turns them back the way they came.

Longing for the sound of his mommy's voice, Phillip anxiously peers out the little window and it is as if his surroundings pick up on his agitation. No longer does he see the bright colors of the grassy field, nor the golden orb of the sun that hung bright in the sky not so long ago.

Now it is as if a haze has overtaken them, shrouding them in a gray mist. It grows cold and Phillip wishes the wind would cease its blowing through the open window. The hill that they climbed earlier stands twice as tall before them, the track growing slippery, causing Thomas to have a hard time working his way up it.

Phillip is worried that they're not going to make it, and just as he's about to lose all hope, they reach the top. Thomas teeters now at the very tip of the tall hill. Phillip loses all sight of land as they sit wavering back and forth like some large, metal teeter-totter.

After a moment Phillip feels himself being propelled forward as gravity finally pulls them down the tall hill. He screams as they propel forward, but the only sound that can be heard is the wind as it goes rushing past them.

As they approach the bottom of the hill the track gives way, disintegrating under them, and they now freefall towards the ground. With his eyes shut tight, Phillip hangs on for dear life as he calls out to his friend that answers him with a blast of his whistle, reassuring him that all will be okay. After what seems like an eternity, Phillip is surprised when they hit the ground with a soft thud, instead of the crunch of metal that he was expecting.

He lay there in silence, giving himself some time before opening his eyes. He hesitates before moving, bracing himself for any pain that he may feel. When nothing comes, he slowly opens his eyes. He finds himself laying in darkness, the only light coming from the narrow crack in his bedroom door. He follows the trail of light from the door, to where it ends, shining on his stuffed Thomas, that lays motionless on its side.


End file.
